cactus and lover

Hey Mr.Curiosity

Do you know the horrible feeling of waking up to a bladder explosion?
If you do, you are SO my friend.

Okay, so facebook tells me that I attract mentally unstable people because I'm one of them, and that I also attract weird, insane people because I'm one of them. And the newspaper told me that facebook was for intelligent people and myspace was for weirdos and creeps. Need I explain that no one can generalize ANYTHING? By the way, I so disagree with you, facebook. Now go to hell.

Only two people in the world I know speak of things that are 'somewhat' close to the truth; Michiko Kakutani of the NY Times and Ran Prieur(even though Ran Prieur could be considered a little kooky to people who don't agree with him..)
But then again, I'm not really sure if I should be the one defining 'truth,' seeing that I'm the most pathological liar in the entire world. Now this could just be another lie. You never know. Okay, so this is me, always underrating myself. Don't feel all sympathetic because I actually have a lot of fun doing it.

No more bullshitting. Well, that's kind of what I do every second of the day but yeah. After midnight, it's time for me to go back to the fundamental question:

Why do I fucking exist?

Note

Dear strangers I met on June 21st in downtown Songtan
that I took weird pictures of,

I'm sorry if you were creeped out by a freak, me, accosting you,
and I'm even more sorry if I took a picture of you.
But by having your pictures taken, you're actually
contributing to my [Project Humanity].
Thanks a million, and if you ever want to see those pictures,
please come back soon.
I'll upload em as soon as I get em developed...

If you'd like em emailed to you or if you want a real copy,
please contact me at:
te4quiero@aol.com
If you want me to take em down, again, contact me at
te4quiero@aol.com

Without wax,

the cactus

P.S. I'm not a photographer, nor do I want to become one.
Your picture won't be shown anywhere.
As you see, this website's just my private blog thingy.
All photographs are taken for philosophical reasons.

rubbish

I always have a gazillion stupid things to say. I really do. And as much as my words don't mean anything, I always want them to. Yeah, that's how vain I am. Tonight I'm trapped inside my own nothingness.
I make a tremendous amount of effort to be a laid back person, to not take everything so seriously. But I'm too analytical for that. I observe, I analyze, I juxtapose the matter at hand with a contrasting matter, I investigate, then I conclude. Are my conclusions always right? Hell no. They're as twisted as my mind is..

Being a misanthropist and a helpless cynic, I can't help but restrain from being generous to others as I am to myself. Call me a hypocrite...I won't object to that..
Despite my ultimate goal to become a better person, my actions hold no virtue. Compromising, justifying the wrong, victimizing myself..only the things as a kid I swore not to do are the things I do now just to breathe a little longer. I feel apathetic about the world, but pathetic about myself. It's quite devastating always pitying myself, but if I could help it , I certainly would.

Three people sit inside me, fighting to grip control over the frail body..whoever takes control, it won't matter, because whoever it is, I'll still be the reclusive, introvert, gloomy freak that I am.

stranded

Stranded.
No need for rescue, just company.

as egocentric as it sounds, I fucking mean it. I'm emotionally sadomasochistic.
I enjoy being isolated; I build extra thick walls around me. I suffer and simultaneously
enjoy the pain. and I crave for love, but not like everyone else does.
girls dream to be saved but i don't need rescue, i need someone to knock on my walls and
enter my island to stay. you want out? no fucking way.

i'm a cactus. i'll watch you bleed as you embrace me and cry because you bleed.
but i won't let go. i'm that selfish.

metamorphosis

"I will because I can."

no title

Everything about this place was extremely irregular. She thought the wind had blown over her head, making her hair slightly float, however, when she finally opened her eyes after a moment of doubt, she found out that there was absolutely no wind, and the room was filled with formidable silence. She was lying on something solid. It’s dark; it must be night, she murmured and waited for her eyes to get used to the darkness so she would be able to see clearly where she was, but soon she realized all the walls were painted black as well.

She breathed for a second, just to find out if she was still alive. She was. She didn’t quite know if it was a good thing or not. Then she realized that this place didn’t smell of anything. There were no signs of anyone else. Sound reverberated only in her head, and she could see nothing at all. She wasn’t at all scared, but instead she wondered. Why was she here? What was this place? She fell into a deep, pensive moment. Why, and how? She asked an abundant questions and thought of every possible answer, then she came to discover the most magnificent thing ever.
She was finally isolated! This room was her heaven.